It takes courage to grow up – oh how I learned that lesson! Growing up means letting go. Letting go of old habits and telling yourself that you’re worthy of joy.
Last May I attended an all day women’s retreat at Lake Creek Camp. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I was waiting for someone to talk me out of going. It was the one day in May where temperatures were actually FREEZING and this was going to be an outside event.
I bundled up, got into my brand new car and headed off to what I didn’t know then, was the beginning of my life. Well, like about the 5th or 6th beginning, but it was the one I’ve been praying for!
Lake Creek Camp has been in existence for over 150 years. It started out as a rural church community. Building small one room cabins allowed members to stay overnight. Making the distance travelled achievable.
One of the scheduled events was a prayer walk. We wandered at our own pace between these rustic cabins. Inside were words or items to focus on . Inviting prayer, contemplation or awakenings. When I entered the Joy Cabin. I broke down in tears when I read the James scripture :
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
I was suddenly aware of how hard I worked to keep joy out of my life. Not because I didn’t crave it! But because I hadn’t finished the work to earn it. Where did that come from?
I didn’t believe I was worthy of feeling joy!
I listened to those family members who tried to tell me I wasn’t worthy. I realized I deserved joy just as much as anyone else. I prayed for God to un-harden my heart against myself and let me feel worthy of being joyful.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31.
I left that day determined to convince myself that life does not have to be so serious! And that I AM WORTHY of JOY.
For the next month, tears would flow from nowhere. I found myself filled with the amazement of the world and the power of God.
Someone recently asked me what I would tell the broken Toby 10 years ago. I quickly answered that I would tell her she was enough. She was worthy.
And. I. Am.
So are you…
