Toby Dorr:
Welcome to First Conversations with Toby. The podcast where we dive deep into the art of overcoming. Here we share powerful stories that ignite healing and inspire profound transformations in your own journey. I’m Toby Daw and together will explore the resilience, courage and fierce, determined passion that turn life’s challenges into stepping stones for growth. Let’s begin this transformative journey together.
Toby Dorr:
So welcome to the next episode of Fierce Conversations with Toby. My guest today is Charmaine Olivia, and she is putting together an awesome book, and she has a great movement for women that I can’t wait for us to dig into. So welcome Charmaine.
Shamayne Olivia
Thanks, Toby. It’s great to be here with you.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. So I’m really excited. We met just a few weeks ago, actually, I think. And were you at the Women and Publishing Summit?
Shamayne Olivia
I went to the summit. I did, yes, it was my second, second year to go. And you were, presenting and, your, podcast presentation really interested me. And that’s that’s how we did it.
Toby Dorr:
And that’s how we met Ellen. Yes. And then I talked to you about your book and about your idea, and I realized you would make a perfect guest for the podcast. So here we are. Well, I think before we get started, what’s your favorite color and what do you think it says about you.
Shamayne Olivia
Oh wow. I’ve always liked the color blue and I, I think that I like it so much because it represents the sky and everything that is around me. So, I’ve, I’ve just always liked the blue. I’ll. I’ve gone to purples and different shades of blue and everything, but blue is my constant.
Toby Dorr:
That’s pretty good. Yeah. Blue is a pretty powerful color. You can go from such a variety. Can be so soft and warm, and then it gets bolder and brighter. Yeah, I love that. So tell us about a significant event in your life that knocked you down. And how did you pick yourself up?
Shamayne Olivia
Okay. There have been a few in my life, and I, the one that I think was most, significant in my life was, getting my my my divorce. I’ve been married twice, and the first time I had been married 19 years to to a lovely man. He was very kind, very sweet. But at that time in my life, I didn’t realize I was gay.
Shamayne Olivia
I had come from a childhood trauma. And so after having three kids and I’m entering into my 40s in midlife, I decided that it was time to get it. Well, are time for a change. I didn’t necessarily think it was going to be a divorce, but, having having gone through that and being so afraid to make that decision, I was afraid that I was the one that was going to cause all these troubles and problems and everything, and, so I, I, my daughter, actually, she was 16 at the time, and she could tell that I was really feeling down about everything and, not taking any movement forward.
Shamayne Olivia
And she thought she told me one day she came into my office where I was sitting at the computer and said, mom, if you’re so unhappy, why don’t you leave him what she was saying?
Toby Dorr:
Right.
Shamayne Olivia
And I, I thought, oh my gosh, if my daughter can see this and she sees me sitting here not doing anything about it. What kind of an example of my giving her.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. Yeah. And some pretty powerful.
Shamayne Olivia
It, it, it was a, it was a, it was a eye opener for me because I was, I was in this for myself. I was, you know, I was the one that was down. I was the one, feeling sorry for myself and feeling, you know, I don’t know what to do. And then I and then when she said that to me, I thought, you know what?
Shamayne Olivia
This is not just about me. This is about our family.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I can relate to that. I had a childhood trauma too. And, and I realized I wasn’t happy in my marriage, but I didn’t know what to do about it and I didn’t have the guts to leave. And so, you know, my marriage lasted 28 years. And it wasn’t til the kids were gone that I realized my husband and I had nothing in common anymore.
Toby Dorr:
You know, the kids were gone. There was nothing for us to interact about. Of course, I chose to leave in a pretty unorthodox way, but it was because I didn’t know how else to leave or I would have left sooner. So yeah, that does take a lot of courage to do that.
Shamayne Olivia
It does. And, you’re right. I mean, I think that I realized we two really had nothing in common when the kids were gone. I was noticing the kids getting older and knowing they would be leaving. I thought, what do we have that’s going to keep us together?
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah.
Shamayne Olivia
And, you know, a lot of people would recommend, you know, working on that and trying to figure it out, but I just felt deep inside that it would be best for both of us. And it turned out to be the best thing for both of us. And we remained friends and were close. It wasn’t an ugly divorce.
Toby Dorr:
That’s good. That’s really good. Yeah, I can’t say that about mine, but, it is so much easier if it can be, agreeable and a not a negative experience for the kids.
Shamayne Olivia
Right. Right. And that was that was our priority. We felt like the kids deserved that. Yeah. And, I had come from a family of, my parents divorce, and it was not pretty. And I did not want to do that to my kids.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. Yeah. But appreciate that.
Shamayne Olivia
I just one thing about that situation is after he and I did the divorce and we went on our separate paths and we found our, we found what was best for us. He was killed in an accident four years after that.
Toby Dorr:
Wow.
Shamayne Olivia
And so I was knocked down again. And that probably that probably knocked me down the farthest. I. You know, I was thinking about the divorce, but. But him being killed suddenly, he was he was a cyclist, and he was out on a bike ride and got hit by a car. So it was totally unexpected. And by this time, my kids were four years older.
Shamayne Olivia
My daughter was in her 20s and we had two sons. One had just graduated high school and the other was 15. That that took me in a whole new direction, and I, I, I at first, you know, I was back in that period, you know, here I am. What do I do? You’re similar what you were saying about you know, there’s no there’s no guide or book that tells you how to go through these things.
Toby Dorr:
That’s true. There isn’t.
Shamayne Olivia
You get you get hit with things sometimes. And the first thing, well, what am I going to do? Well, how do I do this? And something inside us always, is there to kind of say it’s up to you. Get up and figure it out. And. And that’s what I did that day. I thought, you know, what?
Shamayne Olivia
If I don’t do this? My kids have no one. Yeah. So I had to, figure it out really quickly. And, I had just gotten a new job, and, I decided, you know what? You need to go. They even offered to let me off for a while, and I’m like, no, I can’t I can’t risk losing this job.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, I also felt there was a piece of normalcy that could occur from that.
Toby Dorr:
If there’s something about a routine that makes it comforting. There’s some parts of the day you don’t have to make decisions. You already have a planned out for you. Yes, that makes perfect sense. So, from tell me the story about your book and how that idea came to you and, what your book and your movement is about, because I find that just fascinating.
Shamayne Olivia
Well. Thank you. Well, it really started with those two events I just told you about, and the book is about how I was able to come back from those tragedies and, rediscover myself. My, that day when when Michael, Or in the days right after Michael had died. Michael was my first husband. And those days afterwards, I began to realize that I really didn’t know who I was.
Shamayne Olivia
I asked, you know, like, who am I? And if I don’t know who I am? My kids certainly don’t know who I am, or they have known another part of me that I didn’t like that much, and I wanted them to get to know the real me. But I had to do that first. So my book is my journey of how I did that.
Shamayne Olivia
And, the thing that happened during that journey of trying to figure out who I was, I, I was researching my past and uncovering the truth about my past and learning more about my family history. And I got to a point where I wanted to be able to share that story with other women, but I wanted to be able to do it in a way that would, be very, you know, I imagine this neat little package I was going to offer these women, this is what I did.
Shamayne Olivia
These are the steps I took. But, along the way, I had had, gone to life coaching school. I had started facilitating women’s groups with other women who were already doing it and learning how to teach and how to guide women on their own journeys and how to get unstuck. And, my children motivated me because I wanted to know my true self so they would know who I was.
Shamayne Olivia
So about, 2016, I had, been writing out my thoughts and trying to put together a program that I could help other women with, and, I decided to take a road trip, you know how sometimes it’s it’s a good idea when you get bogged down with things and you’re running out of ideas to kind of just push back.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, yeah. You know. Right. Yeah. My husband and I always, when we have something big we’re trying to put together or work through, we get in the car and go for a ride. It’s the best place to think. It’s the best place to talk. It just works.
Shamayne Olivia
It works. And that’s exactly what I suggested to to my second husband. I didn’t get married in this interim of time. Wonderful man. Craig and I, I suggested him, let’s go for a road trip, because just like you, I have to push back and think about everything I’ve been doing and just kind of free my mind to start thinking of new things and more creative things.
Shamayne Olivia
So we did that. We drove from, I’m in Texas. We drove from Texas up to Utah to Moab and I, we spent a week out there just absorbing nature and just, you know, relaxing. We called it a reboot and recharge road trip. And when I got back, this is where this is where it all fell into place.
Shamayne Olivia
Because this is where the book came from. This is where my teaching has, is, has come from. When we got back about a week later, I was so relaxed, I was so refreshed, and I was ready to just hop back in and start practicing and writing and, you know, figuring out this passion project that I’ve been working on.
Shamayne Olivia
And I had a dream, Toby, it came to me in a dream. And, dreams are special to me, but I only have them occasionally where they speak to me. And this one spoke to me on a level that I had never had before. So I was dreaming that I was going for a walk with a coworker. I worked in corporate America, and we used to walk on our breaks and things like that.
Shamayne Olivia
So my coworker asked me to go for a walk. I said, sure, let me clear off my desk and get my shoes on for walking. And, did a few things, and then we start walking through the building. I, we worked on the third floor, so we had to go down an elevator. This is all very vivid to me.
Shamayne Olivia
When we got out on the first floor and we start walking towards the front door, and as we get to it and walk out, I look down and I’m not wearing my shoes and my shoes. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten because how do you go for a walk without your shoes? And all I had on was socks.
Shamayne Olivia
So I turned back around and I said, I’ll be right back, let me go get my shoes. Went back in and I woke up. And when I woke up, I thought, wow, that was so vivid. And it was. There’s bound to be a message there for me. I just not thinking of it right now. I got up out of bed and went into the restroom and I was, I don’t know, washing my face or something.
Shamayne Olivia
And I was sitting there and I when I looked into the mirror, I felt a warmth wash over me and it said, I heard these words in my head, and it said you were going to teach women to find shoes for their journey. And I was I immediately knew that was going to be my mission, my calling.
Shamayne Olivia
And I woke up my husband. I said, I know what I’m going to do. I I’ve got it figured out. I’m going to teach women how to find their shoes for their journey. And as I’m telling him that the shoes began to break into eight pieces. They just fell apart. And each of them represents a piece of us that we have to know about ourselves in order to take our life journeys.
Shamayne Olivia
And, it was all of the things that I had been missing. So the book is about my journey and piecing together my shoes for the rest of my life journey that I get to write and, understanding that that my past is part of me. But it does not define me. I get to decide. I find myself.
Toby Dorr:
I like that, and so many of us can say that, I need to say that because we all have pasts. And I love that. So your book you’re writing now, what’s the title of it?
Shamayne Olivia
It’s called Shoes that Fit Her soul.
Toby Dorr:
Shoes that fit her soul. I love that.
Toby Dorr:
And through it, you’re going to provide, different personal development exercises for women to help them figure out where they’re going.
Shamayne Olivia
Exactly. I mean, just to give you a sample of some of the things that the shoe has a soul and we have a soul, and it represents the foundation, the shoe, has a foundation, so that you can stand on it and take that journey. We need a strong foundation for us to be able to build our lives around.
Shamayne Olivia
And if you have a weak foundation, like I did coming from a, coming from childhood trauma and emotionally immature parents, I didn’t have that foundation. And that’s why I didn’t know who I was. So I had to start there and start to figure out some things that are deep in my soul. And the shoe goes on from there with the healing and the, you know, direction of growth and things like that.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah, I think it’s pretty powerful. And I think sometimes, you know, of course you don’t mean literally. You’re going to help them build a shoe. You’re talking figuratively. But I think that gives people something that they can grasp, and they can see that there’s a way through and how it works. Because if you just put a journey in front of them, they they’ll do this piece and that piece, but they don’t see the whole.
And with your analogy, I think they see the whole picture that you can’t have a shoe without some kind of a tongue, and you can’t have a shoe without a heel. And so all the parts are important, they’re all important.
Shamayne Olivia
And they do. And they represent something to do each part. And and I took the journey. So I’m just sharing my experience and taking the journey and the things that helped me become whole again and helped me understand who I am as a woman.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, I think that’s powerful, and I think that’s one of the reason that we need to tell our stories, too, because there are people out there waiting to hear our story, because the way that you’re going to tell your story differs from the way I tell my story about finding myself. And some parts of yours will click with the person in some parts of mine, well, but they’re different, and that’s why every story matters.
Toby Dorr:
I think every single story out there matters.
Shamayne Olivia
Perhaps. Absolutely. Because we we are all different.
Shamayne Olivia
Yes.
Shamayne Olivia
So, I have I have garnered information from so many different women. So many different people in my life. And like you said, just taking a piece from here and a piece from there. And but that’s what helped me take my journey.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. I think that’s pretty powerful. So who has been your most important mentor?
Shamayne Olivia
Wow. I have so many people, women that I want to, Just thank you. I’m tremendously grateful for them because they all played a different role in my life from from my stepmother, who introduced me to women’s empowerment in the 70s to, teachers, to my mother in law who teaches me compassion every single day. There’s so many people, but I’m actually going to recognize guys.
Shamayne Olivia
One of my bosses that I had, he was a doctor, and the reason I found him to be my most important mentor is because he had a way of asking me questions that got me thinking about what I would do with my life. And he didn’t at first, I didn’t even realize that’s what he was doing. But then as I got to know him and it would happen every year at our annual, performance reviews, but then also in between, he would he would always ask these questions and it would just make me stop and think.
Shamayne Olivia
And, I got to a point where I’m like, oh my gosh, I am actually growing because he’s causing me to think about these life questions that I had never even considered. So I, I think of him as one of my strongest mentors because he helped me learn how to do that for myself.
Toby Dorr:
And that is important. I think, so was there ever a time that you really felt imprisoned in your life, and what did you do to liberate yourselves?
Shamayne Olivia
I would have to go back to my days right before the divorce. I felt stuck. I felt like I had no other options. I was, I think a lot of women, when they reached midlife, they think life is over. And in a sense, you think, how can I start over? How can I do this? What am I going?
Shamayne Olivia
I’ve always, you know, I’ve always played this one role. I can’t imagine changing that role and becoming someone else or becoming something or doing something. How am I going to afford it? How am I going to do you know all these? How’s how, how’s and what if, what if, what if happen? And so at that point, I felt like I was, very trapped and very stuck and I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how.
Shamayne Olivia
And a friend at work suggested to me she, she knew me very well, and she suggested to me that I try therapy and I was nervous about taking, going to therapy because I thought they were going to point out everything that was wrong with me, and that I was the reason for all of these things that had happened to me.
Shamayne Olivia
And I was just so ashamed and so afraid to go and see a therapist. But she convinced me that, she thought her therapist, who was a woman, that I would relate well with her. And so, it took a little bit, but I eventually went. And when I, I was, I was nervous going there, but everything just fell into place, and, my mind just was opened.
Shamayne Olivia
And when I left that day, the word liberated literally was in my mind. I felt so liberated. And it was not just because of what we discussed. It was because I had done that for myself.
Toby Dorr:
Yes, I think a therapist really does help you find yourself, the woman who’s buried in all that gunk so well.
Shamayne Olivia
And it was just the action that I took. I wasn’t doing it for anyone else but me.
Shamayne Olivia
It was my decision. And it was for me to figure out, and I. And, you know, we can feel selfish sometimes as mothers and wives that we’re we’re we’re conditioned to believe that everyone else comes before us.
Toby Dorr:
That’s right, that’s right. And, and we don’t have the right to do something unless everything else is already taken care of.
Shamayne Olivia
Exactly. So that day, I was actually taking a step just for me. I mean, it ultimately paid off for my my kids in the family, probably one around me, but that that day was for me. And when I walked out of there, I felt so much freedom and I could not believe how liberated I felt. I said all I did was take one step, and I think it could have been any kind of step.
Shamayne Olivia
But for me that day it was therapy.
Toby Dorr:
I think therapy has a way of doing that. And, you know, I found myself in therapy as well, and she used eMDR for me was so I was able to go back and heal some of those childhood traumas.
Shamayne Olivia
What is that? Dr..
Shamayne Olivia
Stand it’s it’s
Shamayne Olivia
Or what is that.
Shamayne Olivia
Grow magnetic redirection or something, but it’s really weird. It they, they focus your eyes or something from the left to the right while you’re talking about these childhood traumas. And it opens up pathways in your brain so you can make new paths for them that aren’t traumatized. Yeah, seems weird, but it works.
Shamayne Olivia
I learned it, I’ve not experienced it, though.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, it worked really well. So, you know, going to therapy, I think I at the time I started, we didn’t have health insurance and I told my husband, I don’t think we can afford to go to therapy for me to go to therapy. He said, we can’t afford for you not to. So you go, we’ll make it work, you know?
Toby Dorr:
And and we did. But, you know, it was a game changer for me for sure.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah. I think everyone needs to find that for themselves. It’s not it may not work for some, but, it certainly work for me. And I’m glad that I’ve taken that step. And then I went on to do other support groups and things like that.
Toby Dorr:
So. Yeah. And, you know, one of my best support groups right now is a group of women that I met in my first Women in Publishing Summit, and we got put together randomly into an author pod, and we’re still together three years later, you know, and that’s great. It’s a powerful group of women that I turn to whenever I need a hug or a pat on the back or a push forward, and that’s so important.
Shamayne Olivia
Well, and that’s one of my steps in the shoes and support system.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah.
Shamayne Olivia
Important to have that support system.
Toby Dorr:
And you know, during the time I was stuck in my first marriage and stuck in my old trauma, I never I didn’t have a support group. I didn’t have anybody to lean on. And I thought I had, you know, I was supposed to be the one everybody else leaned on. So it really did change my perspective a lot.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah. That’s that’s yeah, that’s so important. It was important for me. And it was important for me to understand who my support group is and who are the people that I needed boundaries with. Because I had let a lot of people into my life that were not helping me. They were bringing me down or not encouraging. And, it was not good for my life.
Shamayne Olivia
It was not good for my health and and not just because of what we do, the things we did. Just the energy. The negativity or.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, like walking around in the middle of a gray cloud all the time. And, you know, it just doesn’t light in the world.
Shamayne Olivia
So not at.
Toby Dorr:
All the space to get out. So what’s one question you wish I’d asked? So something else you’d like to share?
Shamayne Olivia
The one. The one I thought would be nice to ask would have been, did anyone support me more than anybody else? Like, did I, who who in my life really helped me get to where I am today more than any question?
Toby Dorr:
Okay, so what’s the answer?
Shamayne Olivia
No, that would be my second husband, Chris.
Toby Dorr:
Yes. Same here with me. My second husband, Chris.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my. My husband’s brother’s name is Chris. That’s funny.
Toby Dorr:
But it’s funny.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah. Craig came along when I was in my, had had gone through my divorce. I was going through it, and, and then right before my husband, first husband died, he came in in that place there. And he was just an easy going, very positive. Remember, I’m looking for more positive people in my life.
Toby Dorr:
Yes.
Shamayne Olivia
Create a support I didn’t know. That’s what you know I was doing at the time, but. But that was my. My thought is like I need to have more positive people. And he came along and just, was a friend to me. We met at work. We were on the same department, and it was just a very platonic, friendly.
Toby Dorr:
Like.
Shamayne Olivia
Here. He’s actually, almost 15 years younger than me. So there was that ease of knowing. Well, I’m older. He’s so much younger. There’s nothing here. It’s just the friendship. And he just made me laugh and smile all the time. And. But not only that, he encouraged me. He he would constantly tell me, the things he saw of me and my capabilities, you know, my potential.
Shamayne Olivia
Such a he was a young guy who was in his 20s and I was 40, and, I didn’t I had never met anyone like that. No one had been so encouraging to me.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. That is so powerful.
Shamayne Olivia
It was. And it lasted. And we’ve been together 20 years now. We’ve been married ten of those and been together 20. And he’s the one who saw me writing a book. He told me one day after walk, he said, you’re going to write a book. I said, no, I’m not. I don’t have any desire to write. And now here I am.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah, I’ve written a program for for women. And so yes, he’s he’s been my, my rock, my cheerleader. Everything all in one.
Toby Dorr:
That’s so important. And that’s how my second husband is also. And we also started out with a platonic relationship and he’s also younger than me. Nine years younger. And we rented a house together, a two bedroom house together, and we were both trying to make a new start, and we just thought we’d help support each other financially and then it evolved into something more.
Toby Dorr:
And he’s always been my biggest cheerleader, and that’s so important. I don’t think I’ve ever had a cheerleader before. You know?
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah, I don’t think I really did anything. I mean, I had a group of girlfriends like you describe, and they’re still in my life, and we encouraged each other. But yeah, this was different. He was actually chance for me, you know?
Toby Dorr:
Yes, yes. I think that’s so powerful. Makes such a difference in the world. So is there a question you’d like to ask me?
Shamayne Olivia
Well, I was curious to know when you felt like you were finally on the right track. Do you remember what what it was that told you? I’m going to be okay, I’m going to make it this time. And, maybe that you had built some resilience and you knew that you were on the right track. Do you know when that was?
Toby Dorr:
Well, it was shortly after I met Chris, and and it was Chris that made me feel that way. And I’ve always said Chris is kind of the keel to my boat because my boat kind of goes, woo, do, do, do you know all through life. And he just keeps it, you know, going and not tipping over. But really the moment when I felt like I’ve arrived, I’m doing what I need to do has been these last few months, you know, I got my memoir published, I got a series of workbooks published, I published a poetry book, and now I’m working on putting together a three day summit for women.
Toby Dorr:
And I have a couple other book ideas I’m working on, and I’m. And I have the podcast, and it’s just kind of at this moment in the last six months, I feel that it’s like, okay, this is where I was headed. This is what I was meant to do. I think I’m on it. So yes, such a great feeling to.
Shamayne Olivia
It is and I, I can see it in you and I can see that you are on your feet. You know, I have a message I can get to two other women. Is that when you do open that your, your, mind and your eyes to that up to just being aren’t just doing the right thing, being on the right path, things will begin to unfold for you.
Shamayne Olivia
I mean, it’s it’s not it’s not like some magic thing happens, but when you, when you are working towards becoming the best version of yourself, when you are doing the work for yourself, that path opens up. And yeah.
Toby Dorr:
It’s you’re receptive to it too. You know, you’re you’re open to it. And so it comes. And I think things don’t come to us until we’re ready for them. So, or I might try to come, but we don’t even notice are there?
Shamayne Olivia
So because we don’t know, the.
Toby Dorr:
Right things have to be lined up. And so I think finally, I’m there and it feels so awesome.
Shamayne Olivia
Well, I am so happy for you, and I hope that I’m right behind you on that.
Toby Dorr:
I think you are, and I can’t wait to read your book. I’m so delighted and excited. Charmaine’s going to use Gracepoint Publishing, which is the same people who published all five of my books, so it’s pretty exciting. Journey.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah, I’m very excited to be a part of this family and.
Toby Dorr:
Team.
Shamayne Olivia
And and getting all of this started. And I’ll be doing workshops and, I will be guesting on podcasts and then have my own, I hope one day I, I yes.
Toby Dorr:
Oh I think you should.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. I love doing the podcast and I never saw myself doing a podcast. But you know Michelle said to me you need a podcast. And I said okay. And off I went with the podcast and, and I’ve loved it. It’s been so much fun. So I really love it.
Shamayne Olivia
On being here.
Toby Dorr:
Well thank you. I’m glad to have you. So what’s one word that inspires you?
Shamayne Olivia
Well, this is going to be something I when when I first thought about this question, because this was one that you had mentioned that you might ask me, I did some thinking on it and I was trying to think of all those words that inspire people. And the one that came to me just this morning because, that’s how a lot of things come to me is right when I need them.
Shamayne Olivia
My word is women.
Toby Dorr:
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 3
When I think of women, I think of the power that we have.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. And I think.
Shamayne Olivia
That we can put out in this world if we know who we are. And because I think of my I think of women in all ages, my daughter, when I look at my daughter, I think, wow, what a woman she is. She is not afraid. When I was her age, I was no timid in afraid to do anything.
Shamayne Olivia
But she has a voice, she has a plan. She is out there and she is not going to let anything stop her. And a lot of the woman in her age, the millennials and Gen Z, all them. I look up to them because I see so much promise in them and and but then women, women like you, women like Michelle, just women that I meet.
Shamayne Olivia
I’m just.
Toby Dorr:
Women kind of have some secret magic. I think, you know, I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s our feelings which everyone tries to make us feel less than because we have these feelings to deal with. But I think it’s what makes us richer, bigger. So.
Shamayne Olivia
Yeah. So when I think of women and I think of going to conferences.
Shamayne Olivia
With.
Shamayne Olivia
With just women, it’s amazing the powerful energy that in the room when it’s all women.
Toby Dorr:
I just I agree.
Shamayne Olivia
I’m so proud to be a woman.
Toby Dorr:
Yeah. And to this day I tell people I’m doing a summit for women or I wrote a series of workbooks for women and they go, well, men can do them too, can’t they? And I said, well, if they want, but not really meant for them, you know, and and that’s the way it is because I think we need something special.
Toby Dorr:
We have something different. We we have different needs.
Shamayne Olivia
We do.
Toby Dorr:
And for so much of our lives, we’ve just taken whatever was meant for man and kind of adapted it a little bit to work for us, but we never had things just for us. And so now’s the time for that.
Shamayne Olivia
I agree, and that’s right. They’ve had it all along. And, yeah, this is this is our time. And I think we are going to make a difference in the world. I used to, by exuding that power that we have within us that has been stifled for for a very long time. And you can see the generations how each have tried to come out with that power and, and it gets knocked down.
Shamayne Olivia
But we just we just keep coming back and we’re not done. Right.
Toby Dorr:
That’s right. Yeah, I love that. And I love that I’ve never had anyone say woman is a word that inspires them. But I can live. I’ve lived it, I love it. It’s awesome. So thank you much so much, Charmaine. I’ve enjoyed having you on the podcast and I can’t wait to read your book.
Shamayne Olivia
Well, it’s been my pleasure, Toby, and thank you for inviting me and I can’t wait for you to read it.
Toby Dorr:
Yes, and we’ll have links in our in the show notes to Charmaine’s website or her social media so that you’ll be able to get in contact.
With her and follow her on this journey. So thanks again. Thank you. Hey. You’re welcome. Thank you for tuning in to First Conversations with Toby. Your support means the world, and I hope today’s episode made a positive impact on you to keep our conversations going, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen a five star rating like comment or review helps tremendously in spreading our message.
Toby Dorr:
You can also support the show by joining our Patreon at Patreon.com slash fierce conversations. All members receive a downloadable gratitude journal and access to a private Facebook group. Plus, 10% of your subscription goes directly to donating My Work books to women in prison. Finally, sharing this episode with your friends and family is a great way to amplify our mission.
Toby Dorr:
Fierce conversations is created and hosted by me, Toby Daw with production by Number Three Productions. The theme music grooving, composed by Lisa Us, features Lisa on flute, Carolyn parody on piano and Tony Ventura on bass. Learn more at Toby daw.com. Thanks for listening and remember escape your prison.
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