In a world that tried to reduce her to a number, Toby Dorr found her voice—raw, broken, and rising—within the pages of her prison journals.
You Are Not Your Worst Mistake is a collection of unedited, unfiltered poetry—words pulled straight from her time behind bars, when silence screamed and healing whispered through ink. Divided into three parts—Breaking Down, Standing Up, and Moving On—these poems trace the journey of a woman stripped of identity, rediscovering her worth, and learning that even in the darkest places, the soul still sings.
And in that rawness, they offer a hand to anyone who has ever felt like they’ve lost themselves… and longed to find the way back home.
❝ Featured Excerpt ❞
the year i became a number, and a face
everyone recognized, but no one knew, not
even me who knew less than nothing, of the
woman buried inside. a turning point, that
year that was really more than a year. the year
i lived on peanut butter, mail call, visiting day.
the year i sank into the deep muck of
depression, fears and fate. the year when i felt
i wasn’t entitled to smile, or dream. the year
when the darkness settled and waters became
clear. and deep. the year i learned that hope
is blue like a springtime sky. and prayer is
purple, bold and royal, and everywhere.
the year i was just a number. 15186
the year i became.
ME.
who was always hidden inside.
Sitting on the steps outside the Bureau of Prison offices in downtown D.C.
Breaking Down
Before you can become, you must let go.
This is where the unraveling begins—where the illusions fall away and you’re left bare, trembling, wondering if you’ll survive the storm.
Sometimes it feels like you won’t.
But you will.
Because even in the breaking, there’s the quiet pulse of becoming.
Standing Up
After the ashes settle, something stirs.A hand reaches upward. A voice begins to rise.
This is the moment when you stop apologizing for who you were and start reaching for who you are.
Here, in the tender middle, you remember your strength.
Here, you begin to bloom.
Moving On
You’ve shed the weight.
You’ve faced the darkness.
Now, you step into the world not as who you were—but as who you are.
No longer dragging your past behind you, but rising with every step.
This is not just moving forward.
This is soaring.
You are not your past. You are not your pain. You are not the story they told about you.
You are the becoming.
These poems are not polished or perfect—they are raw, honest echoes from the pages of my prison journal. They hold space for sorrow, resilience, revelation, and rebirth. If you’ve ever felt broken or lost, I hope you find yourself in these lines… and remember: you are not your worst mistake either.
Open the pages. Let the healing begin.
Toby’s poems are so clear & honest as she chronicles her thoughts through her prison life. Slowly, after suicidal despair, she somehow finds a glimmer of hope. Her poems, if read in order, show the sequence of her thinking from despair to purpose to life after prison. The poems weave a story. I enjoyed reading this book very much and chose quiet places and spaces in which to absorb her thoughts as her journey unfolded. Excellent poetry! – Amazon Review
